Tommy Kern Scores....Opposition Left Deflated   Subscribe via RSS

04/19/2011 8:28 PM : Random Hobo

     Boston Avenue Athletic Club Headquarters- Let's talk referee assessments. Occasionally young, up and coming referees who are trying to advance their reffing careers have to be assessed (emphasis on ass). This is done by having a bunch of referee assholes critique another referee asshole. Our club draws these assessed matches when the upper echelon referee assholes don't want the referee to get a good assessment. Apparently our matches our classified as "difficult". The first thing the ref asked was that we not swear. The actual response to that, before the match had even started, was "Fuck you chump". Gonna be a "difficult" day, eh ref?

     Some soccer was played. Their goalkeeper made several top notch saves to keep the score at 0-0. Mostly phrases such as "Funk you" and "You're a piece of ship" were were mockingly thrown about. Unless of course it was a serious matter, in which case the traditional "Fuck you" and "You're a piece of shit" were used.

     In the second half Josh Knipfer got a red card....wait for it....for swearing. The ref also managed to give seven drop balls, which nobody remembers how to actually do (because we're not 6). In the 74th minute the 10-man A's were awarded a penalty. Sonny Dalesandro saw his penalty saved and saw Tommy Kern recover the rebound at the top of the 18-yard box.

"When Tommy goes to shoot, everyone instinctively sets up to receives the opposition's impending goal-kick", said everyone who's ever played, shaken hands, or even heard the name Tommy, laughed.

     So, when Tommy's effort was bent around the seemingly impenetrable goalkeeper's hands and just inside/under the post and crossbar, everyone assumed the world would simply come to a halt. I did not. Not that it wasn't a miracle. It just didn't summon the apocalypse as many had predicted. Well done Doc. With a few minutes remaining Brian McCurdy's inch perfect pass found Dalesandro who redeemed his earlier spot kick miss by slotted home the lead doubling goal. The defense held, and the 10-man A's recorded their second straight clean sheet.

     British odds-makers William Hill have the odds of Tommy scoring a "Quality" goal before Halley's comet comes again at 7-1.

Starting Lineup

Ben. Fell

J. Knipfer

G. McKenna

R. Harrison

D. Pennington

A. Kern

T. Kern

P. Johnson

J. McKenzie

B. McCurdy

S. Dalesandro

Game Subs
B. Aycock
J. Ganus

Man of the Match
Tommy Kern (1)

BAAC Goals
T. Kern(1) at 74 Minutes
S. Dalesandro(6) at 82 Minutes (B. McCurdy)

BAAC Goalie Stats
Goalie Minutes Played Saves Goals Allowed W-L-T
B. Fell 90 3 0 WIN

BAAC Cards
Yellows Reds
None J. Knipfer

Other Results
Home Score Away Score