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05/18/2010 7:31 PM : BAAC Headquarters
BAAC VS FC United

 

 

Boston Avenue Athleitc Club Headquarters-  This website uses hyperbole and gross exageration to help bring some color into the tales of our weekend battles...however...what you're about to read is ABSOLUTE truth.
 
When this club was formed, the base of players was the most vastly peculiar group of individuals ever assembled. None more peculiar and awesome however than Phil Audley. Here are some "Fun Phil" facts: Phil once once finished an entire cigarette while a bouncer tazed him. Phil only ever walks on his toes. Phil owns a munchkin cat named 'Puzzles'. Phil logged more hours of metal detecting than any other person in his neighborhood last year (it was a lot too). The reason Phil is being mentioned is because his latest endeavor has proved extremely beneficial for the club. Phil...wait for it...is making homeade laundry detergent. The detergent looks identical to sperm, and might be for all anyone knows. The uniforms smell great and both B.A.A.C. teams are on their best form of the season.
 
 
"Since the kits starting being washed in Uncle Phil's Super Soap the results are not only fresh and clean, they're unimaginably one-sided" said Athletic's gaffer Jim Charlton
 
Charlton is exactly right as well. The B.A.A.C. Reserves are 2-0 since the foamy switch, with a 9-1 demolition of DTU and an 11-2 clobbering of F.C. United.
 
The success has been shared by the first team as well. The A's senior squad also stroked F.C. United (A mere 7-0), and with the much anticipated match against foes Alliance scheduled for this past Sunday things were looking good for the minty fresh A's. So what happened? Not one man on Alliance's 22-man roster was brave enough to show his face. The A's won by forfeit.
 
In four matches, the club has amassed a 4-0 record, outscoring opponents 27-3, including one victory coming via total forfeit. Total domination. The Oklahoma state cup is next weekend in Lawton. Both teams are travelling down and we'll be competing in different divisions. There's a chance of hoisting two state titles...and thanks to Uncle Phil's Super Soap making the trip...I smell glory!
FINAL SCORE
0
1

Man of the Match
Philip Audley (1)

BAAC Goals
O. Goal(1) at 1 Minutes

BAAC Goalie Stats
Goalie Minutes Played Saves Goals Allowed W-L-T
O. Goal 90 0 0 WIN

BAAC Cards
Yellows Reds
None None