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04/21/2008 12:00 AM :

Although it has been reported that this website is not governed by "actual events" and "people being at games" , the following statement has been released to the public by the B.A.A.C. front office: "All words, pictures, and information on are unequivocally accurate and unquestionable."

Such facts include, but are not limited to: David Kern IS from Constantinople, Spirit Bank DID donate $500 million to the club, and that 4 year old Max Halve is a player for the club.

The Association for the Preservation of Fundamental Believers of Semi- Verifiable Scripture has certified that the information contained in this website is not only factual, but that it may be the actual word of God. "We don�t see any reason to think the B.A.A.C would embellish any information, as they are all pretty good guys", says spokesman Delphine Sugarton. The APFBSVS is currently the leading authority on whatever it decides, including the Bible, the Book of Hilarious One-Liners, and Whether or Not Your Cousin�s Camaro Really Beat That Guy�s Porsche Last Week.

Any questions about the truthiness of this or any articles should be directed at one�s nearest pet, because if you cant figure it out yourself your dog is probably smarter than you.

- Jeremiah Wolfingtonstein, raconteur and plus size model.